There She Goes
by jmfan2010
Summary: Edward meets Bella as a child and his family adopts her to live with them. When things go wrong, Edward tends to up and leave everything even the girl he's destine to be with. sounds better..hopefully. RXR.
1. Hallows Eve

EPOV

Hallows Eve 

I dove around, bored as usually even though it would have been better if I was with my family but sometimes, _sometimes, _you can bored with the idea of being with them so much. In Forks, Washington, the rainiest place in the United States, where my family and I call home is where we always felt secure in the small town, no matter how many times we have been here; security is what we mostly wanted in our existence. Today was what humans called Halloween. I thought of it rather pathetic, dressing up into something you are obliviously not and go around asking for candy. Of course it had to be something for a mere child but at the end adults found ways to include themselves in this hopeless attempt of dressing up too. Ugh….. I should just get out and try to get some fresh air and get these awful ideas out of my head.

I saw children everywhere, running back and forth, bumping into me and other objects while asking for candy in return. I walked causally around for a while until I hit a familiar spot. 'Ah, the hospital, Carlisle won't mind if I stay for a while to think over what's next for the family.' I walked into the busy hospital and all I got from the nurses was that there was an immense accident and many people were hurt. The chief was mention in all those thoughts as I walked farther into the waiting room. The hospital itself was in complete chaos and no one was available at the time being. All I got was the chief and his wife died, leaving the child behind. Suddenly Carlisle appeared in complete distress.

'How can the chief be in this accident? Never the less he was and lost everyone, well not everyone, but what will they do-Ah Edward, what happened?'

"Nothing I got bored and came here and suddenly I 'overheard' that there was an accident and well he lost everyone. Is it true?"

"I believe so. They died at the impact and left behind the child. See if you can see if she can remember anything that happened. If so, tell me because I have no idea what they are going to do with her."

"Where is she?" he pointed to my left and I starting walking toward the small room that held the child. She was wide awake and completely beautiful; she was not yet seven but seemed to be very mature as she sat there. Suddenly something came over me and it was something terrible, burning my throat as if I was turning again. She was so desirable and she suddenly turned and saw me with huge brown eyes the truly made me regret of what I was thinking at the moment. What upset me the most was the fact that I could not hear her thoughts. I could not get into her mind which I felt useless and a monster for thinking of her as desirable.

"Who are you? Why are you looking at like that? Where's my mother? My dad's a chief and he'll take you to his job if you don't leave me alone." The nurse heart almost broke hearing say these things to me, knowing her parents died.

"No one told her already?" I could not take my eyes off her. The nurse made a sound and shook her head.

She got closer to me and whispered seductively. "We were waiting for the doctor to tell her. Who are you? Maybe I can help you in someway?"

I flinched away and whispered through my teeth, "No thank you. You can not help me at the moment. Please call Dr. Cullen in here so he can tell her then."

She looked at me with scared eyes but composed herself as she left the room. I stared back at the child. She was the most beautiful creature I have ever seen.

"What's your name?" I asked walking slowly close to her. She smelled wonderful but I had to be strong enough to resist this feeling of feeding off her.

She smiled and whispered, "Bella," and I could have sworn that I would have feed off her if it was not for Carlisle. He appeared, reading her charts once again to make sure if she was not hurt. He looked at me and suddenly took the room's atmosphere of guilt and confusion. Guilt from me for thinking of feeding off her and confusion from the child next to me with worried eyes of somewhat being forgotten.

"Isabella Swan, how are you honey?" 'Has she told you anything, Edward?' I shook my head no.

"I'm fine, but when are mommy and daddy coming to see me?"

"Well, since you were in an accident your mommy and daddy got hit and did not make it honey. Your mommy and daddy are not coming back. Do you remember anything that happened? Do you want to talk about it?"

"I remember waking up and mommy and daddy were screaming my name and then it got really quiet. I started to call them but they wouldn't listen and then many people came and took me out of the car. What's going to happen to me?"

"At the moment we are trying to find a family for you but do not worry we will find someone for you, okay? Now I need to look at you for a moment. Can I do that?"

She nodded and Carlisle to look at her. 'She seemed to take this very well. I wonder what will happen later, if she'll react out toward her parents dying. What do you think we should do?'

I shrugged truly not knowing what we were going to do with her.

"Well, you seem fine but now I'm going to see if they can keep you in home. I'll be back. For the meantime, talk to Edward; some people find him very pleasant to be with." He gave her a warm smile and departed the room. I turned to her not knowing what to say. Suddenly it made sense to me why it was so quiet. I could not hear what she was thinking. It aggravated the fact that I could not hear her.

"What are you thinking about?" I tired to be polite it sounded like I was mad at her. Scared was all I got from her eyes and I felt truly sorry I ever said anything. She just stared at me with wide chocolate eyes of fear. Carlisle appeared and never in my existents have I ever been grateful of him being in the room. I turned abruptly toward the wall behind me and appeared to be interested on the design on the lime green wall.

"Honey, it appears that we can not find you a home for the moment, so what I'm going to do is ask you if you know anyone who can take of you."

"No, all I know is that I had mommy and daddy. Can I ask you something?" He simply nodded. "Can I stay with you? You seem to treat me better than how the other people will treat me. See I had a friend and his parents couldn't take care of him and well they took him to a house where they hurt him a lot. When I last saws him, my daddy was taking him to his job and said that they are going to send him somewhere else. I promise I won't do anything bad but I trust you. So can you take me, please?"

"Well I have to heck with my wife and family but for right now I want you to rest ok. I'll come back when I talked to my wife." She nodded and looked at me.

"Is he mad at me?" she whispered quietly before Carlisle left.

"No he's not. Why don't you take a nap? I'll be back in a while ok."


	2. Home Life

EPOV

Home Life

Esme liked the idea of having Bella over, but when it came to my brothers and sisters, well they had similar and different ideas on the topic. Alice simply adored the idea of having her over. Jasper agreed to whatever Alice wanted but with caution since he is the newest one to our family's lifestyle. Rosaline thought it was completely absurd to bring someone into the family especially since she's human; maybe this would give everyone a chance not the concentrate on her so much was what she truly did not want. Emmett really liked the idea to teach someone else on his mischievous ways. I thought exactly the same as Rosaline but with better reason to do so. I was completely attracted to her scent; needless to say she in general is what I wanted the most. I tried to explain to Carlisle but he reassured me that this will be a great exercise to get use to somewhat so appetizing as Bella.

"I trust you Edward, and I have been reassured by Alice that nothing will happen in our care. Believe me son; it's not any easier for her. She has a lot of growing up and now that she's getting older we are going to take good care of her."

"Besides Jasper commented on how she feels toward you honey," Esme looked at me with eyes that contain nothing but joy in them. "He said she really likes you and wants you to notice her more. She's afraid you don't like her at all."

"It's not that but I can't live with someone that I'm attracted to and not I'm-a-man way. I decided that maybe I should leave for a while. I feel like traveling and hopefully when I come back, I can contain myself around her. But I want to reassure that I do not dislike her."

They seemed to ponder the idea for a while as I made my way to Bella's room. Her room was the idea of a perfects girlie-girls room. Everything she might need in her life at this point, being young and all. Yet she was not in this dream world Alice had set up for her. I looked around until I found her in my room looking through the masterpieces of Shakespeare, Bonte, Dickenson, and Austen. She was holding up _Pride and Prejudice_.

"What are you doing?" She was startled and dropped the book which sounded of a loud thud.

"I was—see I-I,"she sounded scared as she tired to explain herself to me. I looked at her holding my breath and trying to keep control.

"It's fine. I wanted to talk to you for a moment."

She started to walk toward the leather couch I had facing the wall. Opposite that wall a massive CD and Record collection I have had over the years. "What's wrong," she merely whispered which gave me some strength to explain myself to this child.

"I'm leaving for a while to travel and I just wanted to let you know that I do like you. But at the moment I can not stay here. I promise to be back and get to know you a little better but right now is not the best time for me." She only nodded her which made me feel even worst, worst then being a monster itself.

"Hey," I said with a lighter mood, "Do you promise to do something for me?" She nodded. "Well keep an eye on Alice and the rest of my family, but I want you to take good care of my CD's because I know Emmett likes to go shooting and well he uses vinyl records that he found somewhere. Did you know that he ruin some of my best records by putting holes into to them and them hanging them on the ceiling." She smiled.

"I promised but does this include the books too. I meant hey look really old you know." I nodded and she seemed happier by this.

"Well then I guess that's all I wanted to make clear with you. Come on and let me say good-bye to my whole family including you." She took my hand hesitantly, but finally walked with me downstairs. Alice looked, if she could, on the verge of tears; Jasper looked like depressed by the emotions he had around him. Rosaline could not look me in the eye and was screaming horrible thoughts into my mind about letting the child get to me. Emmett looked in pretty bad shape, but knowing him, he was tired to put a good façade on what he felt. Esme looked worried because she did not want me to be gone long, but she did not want me to suffer either. Carlisle understood me the most and just told me to come back as soon as possible. Bella took a look at the whole scene and started to cry. I tried to calm her down and told her that I would be back as soon as possible and all she said I'm sorry. Alice came by and took her from my hand and quietly made her way back upstairs before she departed to say good-bye to me. I looked at all of them and promised to call when I could.

"Esme, I promise to come back ok, but please don't let Emmett get to her innocence."

"Hey, I will never do that to her. Jesus Edward, why do you have to be such a filthy lair." We all started laughing and sooner or later Emmett was laughing right on with us.

"I promise." She hugged me tightly.

"Edward, I'll miss you ok." Rosaline. What's not to miss from her? Well at least I know she cares for me about caring for her.

"Baby Boy, take care and find a good girl so you can bring to mom here, okay." Ah, Emmett. I'm going to miss him.

"Good luck Edward. I promise Alice will love the woman you bring in this house but at the moment she has other plans." Jasper looked at me like he knew something I did not but I let it go.

"Well then, Edward can I talk to you outside for a moment?"

"Certainly."

"I wanted you to keep in touch with me the most so hopefully we can have you here soon okay. Now if there's anything you might need, ask me or Esme, okay?"

"Certainly Carlisle, I'll miss you dad." He hugged me before I got into the Volvo and drove away from the only place I wanted to be at the moment. Farwell, until later Forks.


	3. Gravity

EPOV

Gravity 

I have been gone form my family, my only family I should say, for almost four years. These four years have been horrible, but also very important to me because I got to know myself even more without the constant guidance of my family. I have traveled to almost the entire world itself. Seen things I would have liked to see with my family by thought that if I did Emmett would probably ruin the moment for me. Done unpredictable things I promise not to do but know I will go back on my word. I have checked in my family when I got really home sick but found that they are content but truly wish me home already.

"Edward, please come home already. I want you to see Bella. She's all grown up."

"That's preposterous! She is not even 12 yet. Alice I swear if you or Rosaline have corrupted her mind from the innocence I knew before, you are going to get it."

"Calm down, she's is still innocent…When she wants to. Besides you will still have eyes for her otherwise."

"What is that-"

"Edward I have to go. I have to get Bella ready for her date. Bye." The line was cut short. Now I have a reason to come back home.

The day was foggy, like I wished it would be, when I drove into Forks. I had a sense of peace and calmness or rather the idea of getting to see my family once again for what seemed like a million years. I drove into my home and saw Alice running toward me before I even got out of the car, followed by the rest of my family. I cautiously got out and got thrown onto the floor by Alice's joyfulness. Jasper came right after and hugged me. Emmett and Rosaline proceeded and Esme gave me a tighter Hug than Emmett can ever compare to. Carlisle was at the hospital and there was Bella, shier than ever by the door, completely confused on what she should do. I walked up to her and gave her a smile that everyone got dazzled by. She seemed not to be trouble by my smile and I got slightly confused by her distaste toward me. Suddenly I was dazzled by her smile that made old men cry just to be near her. I knew once there that Rosaline was doing a mighty good job on her. Of course she was gorgeous, completely what I thought I could never have or have seen but nothing can compare to her beauty.

"Hello Edward. It's been a while, hasn't it?" She gave me that smile that I could not take my eyes off.

"Isabella, how are you my love?"

"Just fine. Waiting for you to come back and claim what's yours of course."

For a moment I was dumbfounded. I could not possible comprehend what she meant by that statement. Suddenly she started to laugh. "I meant the things I promise to take care of. Why are you looking at my like that? What could I have possibly meant by that Edward?"

"Ah, well thank you by the way. For taking care of my things, of course."

"Oh and Edward?"

"Yes?"

"It's Bella. Nice to have you back." And with that she walked away and I was dazzled by how confident she moved through the house.

Stunned by her confidence, I mumbled, "Remind me to thank Rosaline on torturing me to the pits of Hades." And everyone started laughing at what I said. Rosaline kept away from me for the rest of the day until Carlisle saw me.

"Edward I see you have finally gotten back to where you truly belong. How was it? Have you seen Bella? She's quite the woman I'll say. You should see her at the hospital. She wonderful and everyone love her there."

"Yes, I can see so myself. She is quite mature for her age. But then again you have to be if you're living with vampires. Has anyone told her yet?"

"Yes we told her a month after you left. She asked why we look so pale and beautiful. We told her that's the reason you could not stay here at the house. She understood quickly and has been quite a lady about this whole situation. We also moved shortly you left to give her some time to get use to the fact her parents are not far a way from us."

"Well then I see Alice and Rosaline have not let her gone to waste yet."

"Ah, well knowing Alice and Rosaline of course that was going to happen."

"Well then. I'm going to have to find a way to get over her selfness then. Knowing she got taught by the best. Well, I'm going to my room if you need anything call me."

I walked to my room at human pace trying to get use to what I've missed so much. Bella was just leaving her room when I got to the second floor.

"Edward." And she walked right by me as if she was in a hurry and ignored me on her way down the stairs. She seemed apathetic at the idea of me being back.

"Bella, Can I talk to you for a moment?"

"Sure. I just need to drop this off with Esme and I'll be right up ok." And turned and walked downstairs.

I quickly made my way back to my room and picked up everything I had on the floor. Since I can not read her mind, I was startled when she came into my room. I also noticed I was not breathing by being so nervous on what I wanted to tell her, which made the situation worst when she scared me.

"And I thought I was supposed to be scared by you because you are the vampire here."

"Since I can not read your mind, yes I got a little surprised when you entered the room."

"Well what did you want to talk to me about?" She sounded curious for once instead of being flirtatious.

"Well I wanted to make it clear that now that I'm here, I don't want any admires of yours to be here. Bella, there's something I have been wanting to confess but I-"

"Edward it's all right. Alice already told me. She knew as soon as you left." Her voice got quieter as she tired to explain herself. "She told me that we were meant for each other and well since I did not have to worry about my future. But I do have to act like a girl somewhat and have to do normal girl things too. Like going on dates and having a boyfriend for the time being you know."

"NO! Absolutely not, and don't even think about it; it is not going to happen. I will not tolerate you having a boyfriend. Having someone else wanting you, when I know your mine; I'd hate to see what you would get yourself caught in."

"Edward, calm down. Besides I don't have to listen to you. You are not my father and Boyfriend, yet. But I will not tolerate you yelling at me and being all protective. Think about what people will say about this. Some creepy seventeen-year-old all over a twelve-year-old; think about your family too. I have to be somewhat normal."

"Fine, but if I hear you are doing things not a child your age is not supposed to be doing, there will be serve, serve consequences got me?"

"Screw this; forget the idea of you and me. It will never happen get it?"

"Bella but I'm trying to make sure noting happens to you. I swear if anything did I would completely die. Bella please try to understand where I'm coming from. I'm sorry if I am acting immature." She walked up to me and looked me dead in the eye.

"Edward, I love you but I have to be normal for people too meaning I have to have a boyfriend too."

"I know but promise me nothing stupid or reckless, okay?"

"Fine, but no girls from your part either. I don't want to hurt anyone either. Well maybe you should bring them; Emmett would like the fact that I could finally use what he taught me." We both laughed at the fact but we looked into each others eyes and kissed.

We heard a doorbell and heard Bella called down for her date and I could have almost kill him for ruining our moment.


	4. Young Hearts Run Free

BPOV

Young Hearts Run Free

Complete shock ran through Edward's face and then the fury came on.

"Okay, I'll right down." I yelled back. "Listen I promise nothing won't happen. We'll be back before my curfew, sooner maybe because I did not set this one date up. Alice met some new people and well they have the same kind of family as ours, and they set me up with this guy. So I'll be back later ok."

I kissed him and left. He was completely mad at me but I did not do this on purpose. I did not he was coming back today, and if I did I would have cancelled. Alice wouldn't like the idea of that but hey if she wanted Edward and I together then maybe she would have understand. I made a quick stop to my room and went to my vanity. There I have everything and more a girl could ever dream of. I had make-up, perfumes-very expensive perfumes from Alice and Rosalie-, and jewelry to fill up a whole jewelry shop. But within these priceless materials the only thing that I have to always have is the rings that belonged to my parent's with me. It hung nicely around my neck, with the 2 ct. diamond earrings and a dab of Chanel N.o 5 perfume. I walked out and headed downstairs.

"Looking good Bella." Emmett, always stating the oblivious and then some.

"Ah, Bella you look nice dear." Esme hugged me tightly and smiled by how I look.

"Thanks, where is he?" She pointed toward the living room where Jasper, Alice, and Rosalie were talking to him.

"So where are you taking Bella? What time is she coming back? No funny stuff buddy or I will have to bring Emmett in here."

"Did someone say something?" Emmett asked causally, as if he couldn't hear what they were telling the young man.

"Ahem?"

"Bella, this is John." Alice said with a huge grin on her face of complete happiness.

"Hi, it's nice to finally meet you. My sister has said so much, but that's only because Alice and her talk all the time."

He was very cute. Had dimples as he smiled, which was a lot. I caught him blushing a little. He was pretty tall, even for his age, taller than my 5'1 but no more than 5'4.

"Hehe well it's the same here. But I guess Alice forgot to mention you were cute. Now I met my worst enemy." Alice just smiled, and if she could, she would be blushing. While everyone just laughed it off.

"Well do you want to go already?"

"Sure. Who's taking us?"

"My brother Chris and then your brother offered to pick us up."

"Really. Which one?"

"I believe his name was Edward."

"Oh, can you excuse me for a moment." I walked up to Alice and asked if I could talk to her.

"What will happen? I don't want Edward be all 'your mine little 'sister' and this guy is bad' crap."

"Well nothing will happen but he won't like what going to happen at the end."

"What will-?"

"Come on, you know it's rude to leave someone as, cute as you stated, waiting like this." I just glared at her, but made an effort to meet John again.

"Okay, we can go now."

"Great. Well, I want you to meet my brother Chris." He pointed to a better version of my brother Emmett only less bulky but the rules still applied here.

"Hi, I'm Bella."

"Well, hope in, I don't want your date to run as less."

"Where are we going?" I asked truly not knowing where we going for once.

"Well, to eat and then the movies." John said causally.

"Ok, sounds great. What movie are we watching?" I said as soon as we left my driveway. He sat in the back with me and got a little closer to me. I didn't mind, but his brother put a stop to whatever his little brother had in mind and said, "John I think you should wear your seatbelt on the other side of the car, please." I just giggled when I saw the face John had; complete pissed-off-ness but still cute on him.

"We're here. Now do you have your phone on you?" John nodded. "Ok well then here you go. Don't do anything Bella's parents will disapprove from okay, John?" Again, John nodded and got out quickly from the car. "See you later Bella."

"Thanks for the ride Chris. Bye."

"Come on. There's the restaurant I waited to try."

"Sure." So we went to the restaurant and made our way toward the movies. We ended up watching a movie that ironically had to be about vampires. At first I thought it was stupid, but John thought was it was totally funny. I thought that this had to be some really stupid plan. I mean a movie of vampires and the main guy lead falls for the human girl. Watching the movie brought memories of when my family told me they were vampires.

_FLASHBACK_

"Bella, we have to tell you something." Carlisle entered the room with the rest of his family, well what was left of it since Edward left. "Bella, we are a different kind of people. Meaning we are not human but vampires. We do not feed on humans, instead we feed off animals but don't think we are still safe to be around of because not that stable to be around of, okay?"

"Does this mean I have to been leaving soon?"

"No, but we are going to be extra careful around you."

"That's why Edward left right?" I said this to myself mostly but they ended up answering the question anyways.

"Yes, but believe me, he did it for your safety okay?"

"Okay, but he doesn't hate me right?" They nodded no, which made me feel great, but worried because now I knew why Jasper can't be near me or why Rosalie doesn't want me here.

_END_

John tried to put his arm around me, but suddenly put his arm back where he had it and then I noticed him get very nervous. I tried to see what he was looking at and then I saw the last person I waited to see at the moment. Suddenly I turned to john and gave him a full kiss on his lips and whispered, "I'm going to washroom, be good."

I waked quietly toward the door that lead me out of the movie theater and knew Edward would be right there before I even got out there.

"What the hell is your problem?" I asked him as soon as I was out of the movie theater. He looked at me with concerned eyes which turned into fury.

"I was trying to see if you finished your bloody date. But then you had to put a little sick joke and kiss the guy in front of my face."

"Well then it will teach you to mind your own business and to be patient because I don't need you at the moment. I am going to want you to wait outside until I call you okay. I have to get back inside. Wait until I call you, got it?"

"Fine," and abruptly walked away from me.

I made my way back inside to see that the credits were on and him waiting me. So this is why Edward did not push the subject further huh? Ugh…..I swear if he's going to act like this, well then I will make him suffer.

"How did you like the movie?" John asked as we made our way outside to call Edward.

"It was fine. I'm going to call Edward so he can pick us up okay."

"Okay."

"Hello," complete fury in his voice.

"Hey Eddie, babe can you pick us up?"

"Sure, love where?"

"Don't worry you'll find us. Bye."

I hang up and sat down with John and waited for Edward to pick us up.

"So, do you think that you would want to do this again?"

"Yea, I mean you're not that bad to be around of, right?"

"Not really," he said confidently with a smile playing on his full thick lips. I don't know if it was hormones or just the wanting of his lips but I suddenly started making out with him and he seemed to like it. It was a while until I heard the car beep in front of us where John abruptly pulled apart from me and jumped up. Maybe the thought of confronting my 'brother' made him nervous or should I dare say? ...Scared.

"Come on, he won't do anything."

"Hey Eddie, this is John. John this is my brother, Edward."

"Hello John, it's nice to see you down my sister's throat."

"Edward!!"

"What I'm stating the truth," he said with complete innocence in his eyes.

"Keep your truth to yourself brother of mine." After an awkward silence that lasted for 15 minutes we were at John's house to drop him off. I got out with him to take him up to his door.

"Don't worry, he's not mad but sometimes I never know with Edward."

"It's ok, umm..yeah so I'll see you okay." Suddenly I pulled him into a kiss and left him standing there trying to compose himself for what I left behind.

"Bye John. I'll call you okay."

"Bye," he said breathlessly.

As soon as I closed the car door Edward started on a rampage of how dare I do that in front of him..blah,blah, blah was all I thought from it. I got comfortable and turned on the radio. We kept yelling but got quiet after he started to listen to the guitar playing from the song.

I think that possibly, maybe I'm falling for you  
yes there's a chance that I've fallen quite hard for you.  
I've seen the paths that your eyes wander down  
I want to come to

I think that possibly, maybe I'm falling for you

no one understands me quite like you do  
through all of the shadowy corners of me

I never knew just what it was about this old coffee shop  
I love so much  
all of the while I never knew  
I never knew just what it was about this old coffee shop  
I love so much  
all of the while I never knew

I think that possibly, maybe I'm falling for you  
yes there's a chance that I've fallen quite hard on for you.  
I've seen the waters that make your eyes shine  
now I'm shining too

because oh because   
I've fallen quite hard over, over you

if I didn't know you, id rather not know  
if I couldn't have you, I'd rather be alone

I never knew just what it was about this old coffee shop  
I love so much  
all of the while I never knew  
I never knew just what it was about this old coffee shop  
I love so much  
all of the while, I never knew  
all of the while , all of the while

Oh now he shuts up huh. Well at least it was a good song I can maybe listen. I have to remind myself to get it on iTunes. The song finishes and we are at our house in no time.

"Bella, please don't make this any harder then it already is ok. Just-"

I didn't want to listen to him. I made my way back to the house and saw Alice there with a huge grin.

"How was your date?"

"I don't know, you tell me. Alice I don't feel good. I feel like..like," darkness was all I remembered after that.


	5. Clarity

EPOV

Clarity

Bella lay on a bed upstairs where I could not see her because Carlisle thought it was a bad idea. All I could think of is that maybe something the boy did to her drink that make her sick or in her food. Every negative idea ran through my head to Carlisle not letting me see her. According to Carlisle she was going to be fine. What got me more up set was the idea of Alice being there before I was. I mean, seriously, I'm her mate as Alice puts it and here I am downstairs waiting for Carlisle to say something about her condition.

BPOV

I woke up in my room by the sunlight that was hitting my window. All I could think of was why I'm fainted and why everything hurts.

"Bella?" Carlisle said calmly to my other side. "How do you feel?"

"My stomach really hurts and I have a huge headache. What happened to me?"

"Well, Bella you're growing up into a young woman as you may know and well you started the first step of being this wonderful woman. Menstruation. Um…I'd advise you after you're done with thing, I am going to put you on the pill because since we're well vampires it wouldn't be a good idea for you to well you know."

"Ok, but I-I well nevermind. I would to take a shower and then I need to know how to use those." I point to the chaos of tampons and pads Alice was standing next to with complete happiness.

"Yes, Alice will explain and then you may do whatever you want to use with, but I would stick the pads for right now because tampons include some extra work. I'll leave it at the ok."

"Okay, see you later Carlisle. Alice."

"Yay, Bella you're all grown up. It feels like yesterday I was giving you bubble baths with rubber ducks and all that fun stuff." All I could do is laugh.

"Well, lets get started then Alice." After half an hour and the pros and cons of pads and tampons she left me to think of what I wanted to do. All I wondered was how long I was going to last like this. All well, if I want to be a normal girl, this was the price I had to pay. I got up and went to take a bath. I let the hot water control all my aches and stayed there for a while.

As I got dressed I started to remember phone conversations I would have with Edward while he was away. Maybe that's why he's really overprotective; because he got to know me through the phone when he would call everyday until a couple months before he came. I wonder why he stopped calling me.

_FLASHBACK_

"Hello?"

"Bella?"

"Edward, how are you?"  
"Just fine, how is everyone over there?"

"They're fine just wondering when you're coming back with us. We miss you so much, Alice has had visions of you coming but she doesn't see when."

"Well I promise to be back very soon okay?"

"So where are you right now?"

"At the moment, I'm in France. You know it's the most romantic place in the world. You don't know how many times Rosalie has brought Emmett here to torture him. Alice always like Mexico because it's exotic but don't tell her I told you these things. They'll kill me for telling you they're personal things. God, Bella I always say too much."

"Well, don't worry I won't say anything. I told you that you can trust me with anything."

"Good, because I would hate to know what Alice would say at the moment. But listen I have to go, the tour is going to start pretty soon."

"Okay, well don't forget to feed and come back pretty soon."

"Okay, I'll remember and I'll try to get back home soon okay."

_END_

There light knock at door and then Edward came into the room.

"Hey."

"Hey, how are you feelings?"

"Fine, just here waiting for this to pretty much get done with. What's up?"

"Nothing, just wondering how you were because you scared me back there. I thought that kid did something to your food to give him a reason not to ever get him near you."

"Oh, well don't worry I'm fine and he's really great. I really like him."

"Ah, well I hope you enjoy your youth for a while because it came be taken quickly from you. Especially your innocence if you don't take care of yourself."

"Well, thanks for the reality check. Anything else?"

"Nope just that. I hope you feel better."

"Okay," I said as I put my headphones to my head to listen to my iPod. He left politely out the door and left me be. I listened for a while but I remembered that I waited to ask why he stopped calling me for all these months.

* * *

I must've slept for a while because I woke up to the sound of hard rock banging every part of my ear. I got up and stretched for a while and went to find out why Edward refused to talk to me for all these months. I caught him listen to some classical music and entered his room quietly.

"Hey," he said politely and turned down the music he had playing. "What's up hon.?"

"Nothing, I wanted to ask you something."

"Well, then go a head."

"Edward, why did you stop calling me all these months? I mean, before you came you would always call and then you stop calling me. I guess that's why I'm so upset that you want to come here and start acting like you care about me. I felt like you didn't care about me anymore because you stopped calling. So, why did you stop calling?"

EPOV

"So, why did you stop calling?" all I could do is stare at her because I truly did not know what to tell her.

"I don't know. Honestly I never knew why I stopped talking to you. I really liked talking to you and always felt really good when we talked but Alice would tell me all these stories of you growing up and acting really mature. Then she had to talk about the countless dates you've gone on and it scared me a little that you lost your attraction toward me," and that's all I could truly think of at the moment. I know I had other reasons but I don't know if I wanted to discuss those with her. Suddenly I heard her laughing.

"Edward why would you think like that when I have Alice up, well if she could sleep, every night telling me random things about you. You have to have a little confidence and especially now that I'm dating."

"Well, Alice never told me no such thing. But then again she sometimes does it for a reason. Is that why you have been acting all defensive?"

"Well, pretty much yeah. I thought you didn't care about me anymore."

"Well then it's good to know how you feel huh?"

"Yea now that I'm all 'grown up'; it comes with the territory. So how do you like me now? Did you like how I greeted you or was that a little too much?"

"No I was memorized by how you answered me and I guess more memorized by how you changed from this little seven year old who I thought was my personal devil," and I made the horns to prove me case. She started laughing and got really serious for a moment.

"Okay, thanks for clearing that up," she came up to me and gave me a hug and kiss on the check and walked out the room. I stayed like that for a while thinking about how much I have missed out from not living here with Bella and my family. I see that those months I did not call were brutal because she felt unwanted. I guess that now I'm back I have all this time and more to get use to her and her to get use to me. So we can get to know each other a little better and maybe grow together. I know Alice has so many ideas and plans for the future but I just want to live in the now and forget about the future for a while. Well, maybe until she gets much older and then maybe we'll all have a small chat about her future, not that I want to damn her to what I am. I would never want this kind of life for her. I think this life is worst then anything out there but I can not do anything about my future or what happened to me. But she has a chance to grow and live a normal human life, which is what I desire to most.


	6. Every Breath You Take

EPOV

**Every Breath You Take**

It has been a while since Bella and I had a heart to heart. She kept dating John, but- thankfully- he moved. They kept in touch, but that could only last for so long that they drifted apart slowly until if as he never excited. A couple months after John moved, we moved to a small area in the East Coast. I will never understand why we had to move here of all places. New York is beautiful, but there are many things here that attract Bella and make her want to leave the house we are currently in. She is 15 and will soon be starting High school. I have this fear for her that she will find someone that is not me. Since I can't satisfy her in her human needs, she might get that in high school. I'm not afraid for her in high school itself, because she has so much confidence that her lovely sisters have taught her so well. I rather have her, a shy little timid girl that I met when she was younger. It's a shame I can't always get what I want.

Bella ran into my room indifferent. She looked upset for some reason, but lately I hate asking her what's wrong because she might get mad at me for no reason. It's best to let her be, until she wants to tell me what's on her mind. I started the book I had in my hands. She sat on the floor, just staring at me.

"Edward, have you ever fallen in love?" she asked with pure curiosity burning into my eyes.

"Ha, I wish maybe I won't have to worry about you're doing every moment. Even if I did, it won't compare to my love for you."

She rolls her eyes as I said my last sentence. This made me feel horrible. Why must she act like a teenager? She's so rude. "If you can excuse me, I have to talk to Alice for a moment," I said as I ran out the door.

* * *

"Alice, can I have a word with you?"

"Sure, what's up, Edward?" she asked.

"What's been up with Bella? She's been unbearable these couple weeks. Every time I talk to her she acts like a rotten annoyed child. I can't take it anymore. She treats me worst that a, well I don't know, but it's not a good feeling coming from her."

"Well, Edward, I have no idea what's the matter with her, but I'll ask if it'll make you feel better."

"Don't bother; it will only upset her more if I went to you instead of her to ask these questions. I've been thinking lately that maybe I should take another trip somewhere else. I love her dearly, but I can't put up with her…well you know, I just can't anymore."

"Edward, don't you dare. It's bad enough you left for the first couple of years we got to meet her, to leave again will be bad. Even though you don't notice her indifference, we have. She's been happier and she is always talking about you like a girl with her first crush. I know it's hard, but you have to get use to it. She'll come around. She's just confused of what she wants and afraid that you might leave her at anytime. Trust me everything will be okay. So none of this nonsense of you leaving us again, I won't put up with it okay," she smiled at me but I couldn't smile back because I was still fuming of how Bella's been acting.

"How about, I leave for two years. She might get use to dating other guys and if she falls in love, it will be okay with me because maybe she doesn't want to be immoral. I don't want this life for her. I don't want it on anyone. Maybe if she gets use to the idea of me not being here, she'll end up human and happy."

"Edward, don't you dare. If you leave, I won't ever talk to you. I promise you that much."

"Aww, Alice yes you will. In fact I bet you that you'll call me every night telling me how much you miss me. Come on Alice, I need this break. I will be back just in time for our junior year, I promise."

"Nope, I won't talk to you Edward trust me on that. Don't bet against me okay," she said as she left the room. She's clearly upset, but I'm not the person that can comfort her. Jasper appeared within a second.

'Thanks a lot Edward, now I have to put up with her. If you leave, you'll miss Emmett and Rosalie's wedding. You know how much Rosalie wants you there. Think on it.'

* * *

There wasn't much to think on this situation. I already had me answer. While Bella was sleeping that night, I went to Carlisle and told him of my new plan. Thankfully, Esme wasn't in. she had gone out to the store to get food for Bella. If she was there she would never let me out into the yard. Carlisle understood but said the same thing as Alice.

"Trust me, Edward she will come out of it."

"Yeah I know but I can't stand her hostility anymore. I fear I might do something that I might regret very soon. I just want a clean break from her, for the time being. I promise to be back very soon."

"Very well, Edward but I can't hold any promises that anything will be the same over here. Go with caution."

So I left, without a trace. I left that very same night as I did so many years ago, for the same reasons. Oh, how weak I am; I can't even put up with the girl that I am destine to be with. So long for now, my love.

BPOV

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN EDWARD LEFT?" I was in a hysteria when Alice told me.

"I'm sorry. I know it's horrible but he said he "needed this time to think." I am sorry honey but he will come back to you soon okay."

Alice tired hugging me, but I pushed her off and ran out of my room. Emmett was in the hallway and grabbed me in his bear-hugging hugs. Of course I could not break away so I just left him hug me. I was numb all over and I had no idea what I was going to do. As soon as Emmett let go of me, I ran out of the house toward the highway. As if I could see him on the road, and to even catch him. I was out of mind running down the street. It happened so fast I had no way of moving out of the road. The car hit me and then it was black.

* * *

I remember being in the hospital and someone talking to me. They kept repeating this name over and over again. Someone sounded as if they were crying but could not let the tears come out of their eyes. I remember people touching my hands and telling me to come back or wake up. Apparently the car hit me hard enough for me to forget everything and everyone. When I did wake up, I saw the most beautiful people in the world. They all stared at me happy to see that I'm awake but afraid to say anything because they knew that I did not know them.

"Bella, do you know who I am?" asked this man who looked like he was 23 or 24.

"No. Who's Bella?"

"You're Bella. You don't remember me? I am your father. I'm Carlisle Cullen."

That name felt familiar but I didn't remember anything.

"But you're so young." At this, they all laughed. A small, petite girl with disgustingly black hair came up and hugged me so hard I swear I couldn't breathe.

"Can't…breathe. Er..Hi."

"Oh Bella, I've been so worried. Clearly you remember me? I'm Alice. Remember?"

"I'm sorry Alice I don't remember anything."

A blonde boy came up next, Jasper was his name. A huge scary-looking guy came up after them and told me that his name was Emmett. A disgustingly beautiful supermodel-like-a-like came up after Emmett, and told me her name was Rosalie. She told me with so much hatred that I had no idea what I have done before the accident that would her dislike me so much. The last person who came up was a very motherly type woman who said her name was Esme, my mother.

"Bella, you don't remember me?" her eyes looked as if they wanted to cry.

All I could do is stare at them and utter words incapable of being understood. And so they let me be. I lay in the bed for two weeks before I went to home.

* * *

They showed me a room that was mine. Told me why they were so pale and beautiful. I couldn't believe that I live in a house of vampires. Somehow I had to get out of the room. That house was the last place I wanted to be. I cried for so long and walked around the forest until I was found by Alice. They showed me pictures of myself as I grew up to prove that I did get over the fact that I live with vampires. I think back on it and I laugh because I acted like a child. I complete and utterly scared child. They told me so many things, taught me everything and anything that was teachable. They told me that I was very out going and had many friends, but now I keep to myself, talk to no one and am completely scared of the opposite sex.

"Bella, how can you no talk to guys. That's your favorite pastime, boys were the only reason why you love the let me dress you up. Now all you do is go into Edward's room, listen to his music and read all his boring books."

"Alice! Those books are wonderful. They are what I want my life to be. Every love story intertwined in what it should be to what it is not. He has wonderful taste in music. And when we meet, it will be completely wonderful because we have everything in common."

"But you already met him. You can't meet someone again. Well in you case it's okay but weird." She started and soon enough I joined in her laughing.

"Alice do you think Rosalie will ever talk to me without talking to me like a disgusting parasite?"

"She'll come around. You know both of you were really close. She taught you everything. I mean she taught you how to flirt your way to a free lunch."

"Did she really? How I wish I could remember everything. Maybe I can remember why Edward would leave us. Don't lie to Alice, but it was I who made Edward leave right."

"You know, I won't tell you. You have to wait until Edward comes back."

* * *

I woke up on my junior year to the sound of Alice making so much noise in my closet. Today was our first day of school. So far I was home schooled but my parents but Alice was promised that we Cullen teenagers were going to go to school as a family. She has been waiting for this day for so long that I just wanted it to happen so Alice could let me be. She woke me up and yelled at me to go into the bathroom and take a shower.

"Hurry I want to fix your hair. NOW!" For a small person she can be very scary"Why so pushy. Jezzz I'm going."

She fixed my hair into a classy look of straight hair that is parted on the side. She made me put on black jeans and a t-shirt. Of course what she picked out was okay because I totally loved my vans and was not willing to wear anything that had heels. She told me that I had to, at least, wear something cute during this week. We had plenty of time so I went into the kitchen to find my mom with flour on her face.

"What are you doing?"

"I am trying to make pancakes but it's not looking to good for me it is?" I started laughing then she started laughing with me.

"It's the thought that matters." I said between my laughs.

"Well, eat up." I ate so much I felt like I was about to burst.

"Come on Bella we have to go," Alice was so impatient today.

"Coming but I'm going in my car." For my sixteenth birthday my dad, Carlisle bought me a Jaguar. And I have to admit that I love it. I know it's too flashy but I don't care what Forks has to think about me. I love it and no one can make me change my mind.

"Oh perfect. Trust me Bella today will be the best day of your life. Hurry. Come on guys we have to go," she yelled to Emmett Jasper, and Rosalie to come already.

"We'll all going in one car. See you there Bella," Alice yelled as she made her way to Rosalie's car.

"Bye," I uttered but she didn't get to hear it because they were all gone. "Here goes nothing."

* * *

**hahaha im so sry i havent written in like forevers lol but**

**I'm Back...and better then ever??... hopefully but anyways **

**does anyone know what will happen that Aice is so happy about hmmm...**

**but eh... **

**Jmfan2010**

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	7. Orange Crush

**so i got a couple reviews **

**btw thanks **

**and well i think that this is my story... and well i feel like it**

**should be how i want it to be. **

**i'm sry but yea.. i don't react or bad trash other people's stories **

**but yea...**

**i own nothing...**

* * *

EPOV

Orange Crush

Traveling for another two years can get very annoying. What's more annoying is the fact that I'm traveling for the same reasons in my first trip. Hopefully Carlisle was right when he said that everything will be different. How I long for things to be different. Conformity can get so old that it makes people lose their minds. This trip didn't take me to somewhere new. All I did was travel to familiar places where I felt like I was back home. This only made me even more homesick than I already was. These years went by like a blur that I can't believe I was in. the longing for my family but most of her, my Bella. I get so sick inside knowing the true motives of why I leave. It's because I'm afraid of her rejection. Rejection that Alice promises me through the years that will never happen, and yet I still have that small voice in my head that says otherwise. Ha… Never bet against Alice, is what everyone tells to me. But how I not when someone is there doing things I never thought she would ever do.

As I drove back into Forks, Washington, I had a sense of homecoming. Everything looked the same, so my longing of change maybe something I made up. I want conformity to leave my everyday presence and change to come into my life. As I drove, I heard today was the first day for high school to start. I have no idea what's happening in my house, for I haven't kept in touch with anyone in my family. Perhaps Alice knows I'm coming, but knowing her, she would to make this a surprise for my family. I smile the image of her deceiving my family for some good into their lives. I wonder what happened during my two-year absence. Has anything bad or good happen. Hopefully nothing has happen to my Bella. Yes, she may be a pain but she has a reason too, I guess. I never want to ask for fear of her getting mad at me.

* * *

I drove in my driveway and saw only my father's and mother's cars in the garage. I walked into the house to find everything in peace. Quiet, something I have put up with for so long that I can't stand it anymore.

"Hello?"

"Edward, my baby. You're back in one piece shame on you for leaving me," Esme hissed under her breathe as she hugged me so dearly. My mother, the one thing I missed was her constant worrying of me being alone forever until Bella came to our house.

"Hi, I'm sorry too? Ha... I missed you too. You have no idea of how I missed everyone. Speaking of everyone, where are they?"

"Oh, they're at school. All of them waited until Bella was old enough so they can all be together. We were just waiting for you to come home and join them in school too my dear. But why didn't Alice tell. Oh she's going to get it from me."

"Oh mom you know how she is. She likes to keep these important things to herself so it can be surprises later. Trust me, I think its better this way." Even though I was standing right next to her, I read her mind and it held something that maybe wasn't meant for me to listen or something she's keeping from me. I knew Carlisle was home so I tried searching his mind and still found it to be like my mother's, clouded.

"Mom, what happened that you're not telling me?" She looked me right in the eye and said nothing. Her mind was the same, blank.

"I think you should go and see your father. He's been waiting for you for a while now. Since you never kept in touch...Well I'll let him tell you."

* * *

I walked into his huge office with sky high bookshelves containing some of the most wonderful literature in the world. There was no limit to what it holds in this room. The information it held from anything to everything.

"Carlisle. It's been a long time. Well that long, but when you're alone, it seems like eternally."

"Yes, it does. Trust me, I know." He can around his desk and gave me the same hug as my mother, a tight never-do-what-you-did hug. His mind still held that clouded defect which made me restless and eager to hear what had happen.

"Carlisle, what happened that you and Esme are keeping me out of."

"Edward, after you left, there was an accident. Bella got hurt and well she lost her memory. She does not remember a thing and it's been very hard on everyone here. We have to cope with her and telling her of our lifestyle. She's fine but now is very distant than from what you remembered her by."

I didn't know how to take all of this in. I stared out the window above Carlisle's head. I could tell Carlisle was talking to me, but I didn't catch what he said. Everything felt like it was in slow motion. The idea of Bella hurt was worst than anything in my life so far. Even though Carlisle assured me she was fine, the thought was haunting me and made my bones ache with pain that it was completely unbearable. After a while I noticed I was alone in the room. By the time I left the room, my family was just getting home.

* * *

"Hi mom, we're home." I heard Alice yell into the house indifferent. Did I note a smile as she said this? "Anything exciting happened while we were at school?" Ha… Shameful little creature to hide something important, as my homecoming, to herself. Oh how I miss her intensely so.

"Well, sometime did happen," Esme hit Alice on the arm as she said this. "Why didn't you tell me my son would be coming back home."

"Edward's back?" Emmett asked with happiness.

"You bet. Wow did you get bigger or something." I said as I looked at Emmett scary-looking body.

"You bet and oh boy how I'm going to make you into pulp once we start wrestling." He hugged me in his bear-crunching hugs.

"How are you, Alice? Are you still not talking to me?"

"Nope. But if I was, I would say, Welcome back and jerk, for leaving us." She hit me when she said jerk.

"Ha… Leave it to you to hold my homecoming a secret. Rosalie, how are you?"

"Fine, Welcome home. I'll be in my room. EMMETT!"

'Oh wow, she's in a great mood. Thanks a lot bro, I really love it when she mad' Emmett thought and winked at me before he left the room.

"Edward, where did you go?" Jasper, my newest brother and yet I feel like I've known him for a long time.

"No where important. Here and there. Perhaps Paris was the only place that kept me busy. How it is during the night. How I adore Paris lights and the excitement it holds for me every time I go. Other than that, everywhere I went was a complete bore. Isabella, how are you?" she looked at me for a while and I noticed that she was not the old Bella I left behind. She was a completely new person to rock my world again.

"Fine," she said in a small voice. "I'm sorry but I don't exactly know who you are. So if you can excuse me. Alice," she turned as she said this. I felt worst than the time she treated me badly. "I'll be in my room. It's nice umm…seeing you again Edward. Excuse me." As she left I couldn't help but wonder what she thought. I got use to not caring what she thought before, for her mind was a Rosalie mind. But now, this knew timid Bella, compelled me to know what she thought every moment of the day.

"She's not the same Bella you left behind two years ago. She has changed and I guess it was for the better. She did have too much of Rosalie, but that could only work for one person so much; you would have gotten sick of it. You did and well now you won't get sick of this Bella. She's quiet, overly-grown up for her age and very wise, like you. She was my Edward while you were gone. Welcome Back Edward, well talk later, but now go to her. Tell her things that I wouldn't know because she would ask me to describe you, which I did, but that didn't satisfy her. Finish what I started, tell her things about yourself and tell her things you've told her before. Go and seek your happiness Edward, enjoy her now as she is." Alice said this to my ear as if she was scared that Bella could hear what she was telling me. She gave me one last hug and left me to go and talk to this new and mysterious Bella that I'm evermore attracted to.

* * *

I didn't go right after Alice told me too. No I gave her time to collect what she had to think of me. I gave myself time to understand this new Bella. From a distance, I observe her. I paid attention to the small things she did verses the things that normal people cared about. I didn't not talk to her for a good week. When I did have to say something to her, it would be to either ask her a question about herself or if she wanted to do something together. And yet she was still distant. She didn't want to do anything and when she answered my questions, they were riddles that I had to break apart and think over and over about every night.

I did join them in school and the girls where crazy about us. How annoying it was to be in their minds everyday. The daydreams these girls had annoyed me to the point that I had to leave sometimes and be alone in my car. What upset me more was the fact that I could hear these girls, and yet I wanted to only hear one mind. Bella had me in a trance which I could not break away from. Alice kept pushing me to go and talk to her but I was afraid that she didn't feel the same way as I did. As I always did, even when I first met her, as a child; such a shame that she can't remember that one distinct memory which I have held so dearly since the first time I left. Perhaps I should try to talk to her instead react with her every movement.

* * *

**so yea this is watever **

**yay edward **

**he's back so yea... **

**Review?? **

**JMFAN2010**


	8. Stop This Train

**so here it is...**

**ummm thanks for all the reviews**

**enjoy..**

**i own nothing**

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BOV

Stop This Train

They tell me I was a very outgoing person. That boy would line up just to have a chat or something. That I was in harmony with everything and everyone. Trouble is, I find all this very, no extremely hard to believe because of how t am nowadays. I'm extremely quiet, even though with the closest person, Alice. Otherwise I feel like a failure because I guess they miss the old Bella that had them on their toes.

Emmett misses his prank buddy. Jasper misses his intelligent army-minded friend who could destroy an entire city with one maneuver. Of course Rosalie, hates me with a passion because I'm still the very reason why her, I guess you can say favorite brother left once again, but according to Alice, I was just like Rosalie in every way. She misses her twin. Alice, she will never admit that she misses her shopping buddy. She knows how much I'm suffering with these new changes and learning who I am again. I can see the ancient sadness in her eyes when she asks if I would like to go shopping. I feeling sorry too but that will not change the fact that I feel so uncomfortable being with them. Then there's Edward. I have a weird relationship with him; even though I'm exactly the same as I was before I lost my memories.

I don't know what to say when it comes to Edward anymore. Alice says I was completely and utterly head-over-heals for him and no one could take him away from me. I don't know how to react when I'm told that. I can see why and how I could because he does truly complete me. I don't know because we rarely talk and when we do it's either to clear something out with our family or what I'm doing on a certain day so he can tell Esme about it. I feel so lost when I'm with him. And yet there's that electricity that never fades. I want to be near him but I don't know if he feels the same way.

I don't know how to act toward him and he does not make this situation any better because as I see his eyes grow darker, his mood turns darker too. I guess that I'm too much to handle for him. But he goes hunting, comes back and acts as if I don't exist; like he never treated me horribly. And when I go to Alice to see if she can, at least, explain his unpredictable motions, she says that he's trying but I'm no hope either. I get so frustrated that sometimes. I think it would be better if I didn't exist. When I told Alice this, in my outrage, she gave me the worst look in the world and said that everything will work out and that I should be patience. But how can I, when her brother and my destine-to-be lover can't even stand me. I truly wish I never did exist. I'm glad he can't read my thoughts, so he wouldn't know what I was going to do.

So every night I fall asleep with tears in my eyes thinking over and over again how I wish I was back to my old self or the self that everyone loved. Alice comes in my room during these sessions of me crying myself to sleep. She's in my room everything will be okay. I never was the emotional kind, but lately I haven't been myself. But one night she entered and said nothing she just sat in the corner like she always does but said nothing to calm me down. I was in the middle of my crying when I said her name.

"It's me," answered a muted, sad voice. I gasped as soon as I heard him.

I stopped crying and closed my eyes and waited until he left. But he didn't and after a while I got very sleepy. Right before I went into my dreamland, he asked me, "Bella, love, why are you crying?"

I meant to answer him but didn't; instead I fell into the deepest of dreams…

I woke with the sun shining into my face. Having no memory of what happened last night, I sat up to see that Edward was in Alice's corner with my diary in his hands. I look up into his eyes to find them in pure outrage and disgust. I quickly look away.

"Bella, what's this?" he demands.

"A diary," I choke out in fear.

"Do you really feel this way…about me?" he chokes at the last part and I make the mistake of looking at his sad face and ashen eyes. Like the coward I am, I look away, as I did the first time.

"Yes, because you don't like me very much. Why bother being here anymore. According to destiny, I'm your equal in everything but I feel you don't care for me as much as I do for you. So maybe it's better if I don't exist anymore. To lie six feet under, cold and wet, buried with my parents."

"Never say that," he exclaims a little to loudly for my sensitive ears. "How dare you think like that."

And suddenly he's on top of me, kissing me urgently.

"You can not leave, Bella. I love you more than anything and if I lose you because of my rudeness, it would be my six feet under too! Can you not see that I do care for you? Even when I leave, I hate myself for leaving you."

"There's no reason for you to care for me. Besides I already made up my mind."

Suddenly the door burst open with Alice, Carlisle, Jasper and Emmett behind it.

"Edward get off her," Alice high soprano voice yells. "Emmett! Jasper! Hold him! Carlisle! Do it! Now!"

Everything happened to fast for me to understand. All I saw was blurriness until I felt someone biting me. First it's my left wrist, then my right; my ankles and lastly my neck.

"Carlisle! No!" Edward exclaims. Emmett and Jasper almost lost their grip on him but still had him down.

"I can't let her do what she wanted to do to herself. It's too much to waste. She's my daughter and I'm looking out for her. You don't know what she's capable of."

"What do you mean! Carlisle! Alice!" he yells at them while struggling with Emmett's and Jasper's hold.

"Oh my God! It hurts! Alice! Why! Carlisle! Make! It! Stop! Stop." I yell at the top of my lungs.

"It's ok Bella. Shh…" There's the voice I have gotten use to in all my nights of crying. Alice grabs my hand tightly.

"Bella, everything will be fine." Carlisle reassures me quietly.

"Carlisle how could you do this. Show me what she wanted to do." Edward yells again.

A while passes, I'm still yelling in pain, while, at the same time, being calm, which doesn't work at all. All the while, Edward's still yelling wanting to know what I wanted to do to myself.

I guess Alice or Carlisle gave up on trying to hide their thoughts because Edward exclaims quietly, "Aw, Bella. Why?" I could hear the pain in his voice. I turn hysterical, "What! What happened to me, Alice?"

"What have you done Carlisle," that's the voice of a pissed off Rosalie with Esme trailing behind her.

"I couldn't let her do what she wanted to do to herself, Rosalie. It would have gone to waste. She's my daughter, too." Esme goes to comfort Carlisle as he holds his head in sadness.

"What! Was! I! Going! To! Do! To! Myself!" I yell to get my point heard loud and clear. "Edward, make the pain go away. Edward! I thought you love me!" I never intended to hit below the belt but the pain I felt now was nothing compared to the pain I will have after this ordeal.

"I do, Bella. But I can not do anything anymore."

"It's okay Bella," Esme comes and puts her arms around my head. Suddenly, as flipping a switch, the pain dissolves. I calm down enough that it makes me really sleepy. Everyone gasps at the sight of me calm and still; motionless. My eyes become very droopy and it get harder to keep them open.

"Esme, don't leave me. You made the pain go away. Thank you," I say in a quiet. Tired, I fall into a dreamless sleep; in my dreamworld.

* * *

When I wake, I find seven curious pair of eyes looking at me. First Esme, me in her arms, Carlisle, Rosalie, Jasper, Edward, Emmett and lastly Alice.

'Bella' was what I heard in my head. The voice, of course, belonged to Edward.

* * *

**haha a little cliffy **

**umm yeah i better **

**get reviews**

**lol im just joking **

**love ya guys...**

**JMFAN2010**


	9. Hurricane

**OKAY YOU GUYS CAN KILL ME. I'M SO SORRY BUT YEA I LIKE TO LOLLYGAG A LOT WHEN IT COMES TO COMMITMENTS LIKE THESE. UM.... I HAVE NO REAL EXCUSE SO HERE IT IS. SORRY AGAIN. **

**PLAYLIST**

**1. DARK BLUE-JACK'S MANNQUIN**

**2. FINER FEELINGS-SPOON**

**3. STARLIGHT-MUSE**

**4. LAST NIGHT- THE STROKES**

**5. YOU MELT MY HEART TO STONE-ADELE**

**

* * *

**Hurricane

BPOV

"Bella?" Edward said as he stared at me with disgust and pure hatred. Where was the love me proclaimed to me three days ago? Where was the "how could you think I don't love you" bull that he was talking about when he read my diary. Yeah well obviously it's not there anymore because he knows what I was going to do to myself before I did. I suddenly looked away and caught the eyes of my loving mother.

"Esme, can everyone leave for a while, I need to be alone for a while." She looked worried but quietly told everyone to leave. Edward, of course, was the last one out. I didn't have the heart to look him in the yes yet. I waited until the door was shut to rethink what I was going to do from now on. I know Alice saw what I was going to do pretty soon, so I might as well include her.

"Alice," I called as if she was across the room. She came in an instant still upset about how I didn't tell her to stay sooner.

"Not one word, okay?" I said quietly but she knew I meant every single word. She looked at me for a very long time and nodded.

"What's this about?" I could hear the double meaning in her question. She knew exactly what I was going like when she saw I was going to kill myself. I was going to erase myself from this family whether they liked it or not. I still didn't know exactly how, so Alice won't have to worry about for a while. It was my turn to leave now.

"Nothing Alice." I hope she understood the double meaning in my words.

"Very, well then. We have to get you ready for your first hunt. New clothes?" she said wickedly with a smile forming her face. Whatever pleases Alice, I told myself.

"Yes, please but I need a shower first. You may pick anything you want."

"OMG, you will love what I got you. Go, Go, them we will talk about your hair later. Go on, I need you in 20 minutes, okay." It's weird how quickly she can get very happy, when a moment ago we were talking about me leaving.

I gave her a small smile and quickly made my way into my bathroom. I stripped everything off and got into the shower with the hot water calming my nerves. As I stood there, I tried to think of a good reason why I'm leaving, but everything I thought was absurd or just does not make any sense to do. I stayed in longer than I should have, but gave up and made my way out to my room. Alice was already waiting with all the new clothes God knows when she got.

"Okay so I was thinking of a jogger's suit but then I thought oh a sundress would look really cute. But then omg I saw-"

"Alice I need something comfortable for my hunt. Then we'll think cute, okay?"

"Really, you would wear anything I give you?"

"Yes, now give me something before I change my mind." So I ended up with the jogger's suit in a perfect shade of dark blue.

"Okay, Alice will you go hunting with me?"

"Um, okay but we need to have Emmett and Jasper present just in case you know." Boy Alice did I ever.

"HaHa, well them I guess we should leave but I hope someone can do my hair first?"

"Oh gosh, I forgot. Okay come over here. Now what do we do with your hair? Hmm, oh I know; a perfect twist." Might as well let her have some fun before I leave. Now how long will I have to be here until I'm fully ready to leave. From what Carlisle has mentioned here and there, I will have at least three full months to get use to being near humans. Well hopefully I can make this process go a little faster.

"Okay all done. Damn Bella you look hot!"

"HaHa, thanks, I guess. Okay let's hunt."

"Yes, lets go, let me get the boys. Meet outside in four minutes." I didn't understand why she would take so long when she's usually quick about everything.

"Okay, I'll be outside then."

She quickly left, and not soon after, I made my way toward the front door. Hopefully I could avoid some of my family members. Luckily no one was near the door or living on my way outside, which made me feel somewhat better. I was already outside when I could distantly hear Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper, and Alice talking about me. I refused to listen to them talk, so I walked far away from the house. I knew I shouldn't have gone far but I just did not want to be near them when they're talking about me. I walked farther than I should have and found myself another fellow vampire. Let's just say it wasn't the person I wanted to see at the moment. Edward stood with his back to me, staring out toward the small pond a mile away our house. I knew he knew I was there and acted as if I wasn't there. Makes no difference, I'll be leaving soon, so he should get use to me not being there anymore.

"You can not leave. Carlisle and Esme would never allow it. You should know better than to do that to them"

"Well, you should know better than to tell me what to do. Seeing as you can not talk to me directly." This is when he turned and saw me. I gasped out loud because he was completely gorgeous but I knew better than to fall for his good looks.

"Yes, but that does not mean I do not care about you, Bella. You know I love you very much. But I can see that you do not care much about me. I will leave instead."

"No you can't, I will the reason for you leaving once again. It's bad enough I can't have you, you want them to hate me even more. No, its better I leave. I'm not promising to come back but I can't be near anyone. I need to be alone."

"Bella, you can have me," he said as he moved closer to me, only leaving me breathless in his stance. "But you do not want anything to do with me and leaving only proves that theory."

"Edward, you must understand me. I can't be here now, I must leave. Alice!" I snarled, waiting for her to come out.

"She is not coming. I am taking you hunting. Let's go." And then he turned and dashed through the tree assuming I was going to join him. I stood there weighting my chances but gave up and followed him. This was going to be one very long hunt. He taught me almost everything, but we didn't speak much, for which I was grateful for. So far everything went well, and it was over as soon as it began. I walked back to the house seeing no need to get to the house for anything important. Well nothing important at the moment until I talked to my parents about leaving them for maybe good.

I feel bad because even though I love them I can't be near them because it makes me feel worse that I'm causing pain for their first son. I don't mean to be rude to Edward but I feel every ounce of me not worthy to have him. I feel like he's the prince and the disgusting peasant under his feet who can never look him in the eye. I know I am head over heels for him but I am stubborn and know myself to well to give in when he claims that he loves me, yet he left so many times in my life. Well that's what I get from my old diaries I kept in my room. I don't remember much but it still feel fresh in my head when I read the long passages in my books. I, eventually, made my way back to the house and wondered if Alice told my parents to news or I would have to break it to them.

As I made my way to the door, I saw Alice and I was about to ask her, but she shook her head no and walked away. I went upstairs to my father's study to see if I can find one, but luck was on my side for I saw both talking amongst themselves. I lightly knocked the door.

"Come in," called Carlisle. Well, here goes nothing, I guess.

"Hey, um, can I talk to you both?"

"Yes Bella. What's on your mind honey?" Esme said patting the open spot next to her on the couch. I quietly closed the door, no need with five other vampires hearing in with their sensitive ears, and made my way to the couch.

"Esme, I think I should leave for a while. I think it's best for everyone right now. Hopefully this will bring the old Bella out but really need some time to be alone. I know this hurt's you but I think its best for everyone. I promise to check in with you and tell you that I haven't done something that goes against what you both have taught me."

"Oh, Bella, are you sure you want to leave. I mean you can still be around and be left alone."

"No, Esme, I'm sure I want to do this. Traveling might help a little and seeing new things might spark old memories. I know you guys want the best for me; I promised I won't do something to disappoint you."

"Bella, you do know you still have to stay here for a while more until your full recover from being a newborn."

"Yes, Carlisle I understand that but as soon as I'm okay, I will leave." No need to tell them that I'm not coming back anytime soon or ever.

"Well, I don't know Bella, we have to talk about it some more. Why don't you go and clean up seeing as your hunt ended up on your shirt." Esme said as I looked down and yep there it was, all my lunch on my shirt.

"Well, look at this. Okay I'll be in my room." I quickly left and made it to my room without falling for once I'm grateful for not being a human klutz anymore.

Alice left the sundress on my bed and washed up quickly to put it on. It was a nice shade of emerald and matched me perfectly if it wasn't for my red eyes. After I was done I stayed in my room for a while and enjoy some music then read for a while. I didn't like being alone that much but now that I'm begging for it, I guess I have to get use to it. Esme knocked on my door as I was about finish with _Looking for Alaska. _

"Hey honey I just wanted to tell you that your father and I have talked and we believe that it's okay for you to leave but you have to promise to come back okay."

"Of course mom; I will come back."

"Okay honey, I'll let you be. Do you know when you will be leaving exactly?"

"Hmm, well I still need to know how to control myself, so I guess in a couple months."

"Okay, I'll tell your father. Night, Bella."

And a good night to you mom for now everything will be different. I feel so bad about thinking of leaving and promising to come back but I have to do this if I want to leave. Besides, promises are meant to be broken like the ones Edward always promised but broke.

* * *

SO THERE IT IS. I'M SO SORRY. HEY IF YOU'RE GONNA REVIEW GIVE ME A SONG TO LISTEN TO AND I MIGHT PUT IT ON AS A PLAYLIST SONG. I WILL ALSO GIVE YOU CREDIT FOR GIVING ME THE SONG. WELL THEN THAT'S IT IN A NUT SHELL. LOVE YA

JMFAN2010


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